Tonight a cookie friend texted me and asked, "Do you ever struggle with the feeling of inadequacy with your cookies?"  I thought on that question for a quick second and immediately answered, "NO!" Trust me, it isn't because I feel like my cookies are SO amazing, not at all!  Two years ago, I was finding myself patrolling social media looking at all the amazing cookie pictures and then criticizing my own cookies.  I was stuck in a perpetual cycle of comparison.  Sadly, rather than it improving my techniques or my quality...it stole my joy.  I was comparing everything about my cookies to others and I suddenly forgot why I loved doing cookies.  I let comparison steal my joy.

Do you do that?  It took me a while to realize that I was even doing it!  Then, I went through a phase of not following my fellow cookiers.  I needed to focus on ME.  I needed to find who I was as a cookier rather than trying to be anyone else.  It's amazing the transformation that occurred.  I stopped searching on Pinterest for "cookie" ideas.  I stopped looking on social media at other cookie posts and I started working on me.  I even started sketching my sets out and brainstorming for myself.  I had to experiment and play with icing.  I needed to tweak and alter my dough flavorings.  I started trying different methods and finding what works for me.  I began a journey of staying in my own lane.   I realized a very important lesson, "Don't allow comparison to steal your joy. "

When I grow up (not literally because I'm pushing the big 4-0),  I know what I want to be in my cookie life.

Lets back up a little bit first.  This past weekend I flew to Salt Lake City to attend my second Cookie Con!  It is the very best convention that focuses on the Cookie Artist (more about that to come).  I was just a girl from Kansas, headed to spend five days with five hundred amazing people.  It is a tad overwhelming and everything fabulous.

We dedicated days to learning, celebrating, and educating ourselves about a cookie!  Yep, a cookie. From first light to well past my normal "mom" bedtime, we talked cookie.  It sounds ludicrous to people who don't "get it", but that doesn't matter when you are at Cookie Con.  THESE people understand, my tribe!

Friday was class day, from 9 am until 6 pm, we spent the day soaking in tidbits from some amazing artists.  And this brings me to what I want to be when I grow up.  It was getting to be the end of my class day, I was dragging a little bit.  I hadn't had my normal doses of coffee or shut eye, so I was starting to waver a little.  I sat down hopeful that I could keep my eyes open.  4:00 hour struck and BAM, the teacher began.  She was AMAZING.  Her knowledge of cookie techniques, her knowledge of art, her knowledge of teaching, it was ALL inspiring.  But, what captured my attention was her love of cookies.  She LOVES to create beautiful cookies.  She doesn't just do cookies like everyone else does them.  She finds new ways to create texture and she experiments with different tools.  The excitement she exuded was like nothing I've seen before. THAT type of passion for cookies is what I want to have.  Sure, I have that excitement and trust me, I have the love of cookies (I wouldn't spend all these hours and backaches, if I didn't love it).  But, what I want to be is someone who stands before a crowd and inspires.  A cookie artist who pushes others to do better, create differently, and get excited!  THAT is what I want to be when I grow up.

A genuine thank you to Amy Clough of Clough'D 9 Cookies for being that special instructor.

Do you ever start a cookie set with no plan in mind?  You bake shapes and mix icing but have no idea what you will do?  I am a "type A" organized planner.  I rarely don't have a plan.  But, every once in a while, I like to change things up.  I like to sit at my desk and see where the icing bag takes me.  There are times that I have created some of the ugliest cookies in the world this way.  Other times, a set without a plan and direction, turns out pretty great.

For this "type a" decorator, its not something I do very often.  I typically have a pencil in hand and sketch out designs.  I normally know what will go on each and every cookie.  But, winging it, it pushes you.  It keeps you on your toes.  You have to commit to each cookie and go with it!  If you've never tried the "wing it" method...give it a try.  If it produces ugly cookies....EAT them!  But, if you design gorgeous cookies...its worth it!

When I first started selling cookies, I charged $18 a dozen.  Yep, you read that right!  $18 for 12 cookies that took me an eternity to make.  Would it shock you if I told you, even now, I think that was a fair price?  (Keep reading, I promise I'll explain)

When I first started making and selling cookies, I had all sorts of technical difficulties.  Icing bleed, sloppy writing, piping that broke, unoriginal designs, uneven thick cookies...and on and on and on.  I started selling cookies before I even knew what I was doing.  I was so thrilled with my first creations that I was ALL IN!

Fast forward a few years, and a ton of learning.  I look back at my cookie journey and I'm proud of where I have come from.  When I first started, I wasn't worth what I charge today.  I see so many new cookie bakers enter the world of selling and expecting to charge high prices for their work, and struggling to find customers.  I see local bakers posting on buy/sell/trade sites with prices even lower than $18!!!   I am NOT even criticizing the beginner at all!  I was THAT baker! But looking back at my beginner cookies, even though I was slaving over them for a stupid amount of time, they were worth a measly $18 (in my opinion)! The question is, what are they worth?

On the flip side....are you creating amazing cookies and not selling them for what you are actually worth?  Do you feel guilty charging THAT much?  Are you a people pleaser? I SO get it.  I'm still somewhat of that baker.  Insert eye roll at myself.  I LOVE creating cookies and being a part of peoples events, I probably don't charge as much as I should.  I'm still learning and pep talking myself daily!

Side Note: If you are a beginner, don't give up!!!  Don't think that it'll never become easier.  Don't talk yourself out of trying something new that might work better for you! And I promise you (speaking as someone who went through it all), that with practice you will get better and you will be worth SO much more than $18!